The Clueless Gardener’s Glossary of Terms

Gardening terms with a humorous twist!
The Clueless Gardener's Glossary of Terms

Backyard Habitat: A dandy excuse to sip a daiquiri instead of trimming the hedges.

Bird House: A quaint, often elaborate structure designed to add fiber to the diet of squirrels.

Bog Garden: The result of going on vacation without turning off the sprinkler.

Bulb: Potential flower buried in fall, never to be seen again.

Double Digging: An evil concept whereby you dig a large area with a shovel, and when you are finished you do it again.

Garden Catalog: A well-illustrated work of fiction.

Grass: A plant found in flower gardens that needs little or no care.

Hoe: A garden tool calibrated so precisely that when stepped upon its handle rises swiftly up to mouth level, causing the gardener to say “Hoeeee!”

Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.

Perennial: A plant that would have come back year after year if it had survived.

Pop-Up Sprinkler Head: A sprinkler head that retracts below ground level when it is not operating. Pop-up sprinklers which stick in the raised position are known as “lawn mower food”.

Seed Packet: An expensive envelope with a pretty picture containing 99.9% air.

Wildflowers: Invasive weeds with sexy names.

Full Gardening Terms Glossary

FarmHomestead FB FarmHomestead twitter farmandhomestead pinterest farmhomestead mail
"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest his patient in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease" ~ Thomas Jefferson

Leave a Comment