Climbing the Green Ladder

Climbing the Green Ladder

Community, Gardening Humor, Sustainable Living
by Monica Roberts, marketing consultant, freelance writer, and mom Creating a way to feel superior to your neighbor is just human nature. In my grandparents' day, it was whether or not you ironed your bed sheets and tea towels coupled with how often you went to church. During my adolescent years, self-worth was often linked to how much a person weighed, namely me. This was ironic because my mother has always struggled with her weight. But, by golly, she had a daughter who wore a size 6, so that made everything OK. Plus we attended church every time the door opened. Self-esteem was at an all-time high. One of the great benefits of our day and age is that we have so many more ways to one-up the next guy.…
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Old Farmers Advice

Old Farmers Advice

Gardening Humor
[caption id="attachment_1748" align="alignright" width="300"] Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.[/caption] Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about…
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It’s been a rough year

It’s been a rough year

Community, Gardening Humor
But not everyone is as lucky as I am ... (Okay, I couldn't resist a little humor) I got this email see, the chicken is what got me. The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" CEO's are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them . [caption id="attachment_3464" align="alignright" width="292"] This chicken had a rough year[/caption] Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. A truckload of Americans…
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Garden Calendar Funnies

Community, Gardening Humor, Organic Gardening, Year Round Gardening
Okay, one of the largest sections of FarmHomestead is the Garden Calendar. I have looked at it so many times I am sick of looking at it. So I was wondering what other peoples' garden calendars look like, and I found one that just CRACKED me up... this guy (Eric Walker) is fun to read. He says... It is vital to understand that nature is not a factory, with timetables and a noon whistle: dates for doing things in a vegetable garden are, even for the greatest experts, at best guesstimates based on prior experience that may not be--often is not--applicable to this season. The weather data used for typical temperatures and such is the fifty-year data from the State weather-data-collecting station in Ritzville, Washington (State), which is a cool…
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The Clueless Gardener’s Glossary of Terms

Gardening Humor
Gardening terms with a humorous twist! Backyard Habitat: A dandy excuse to sip a daiquiri instead of trimming the hedges. Bird House: A quaint, often elaborate structure designed to add fiber to the diet of squirrels. Bog Garden: The result of going on vacation without turning off the sprinkler. Bulb: Potential flower buried in fall, never to be seen again. Double Digging: An evil concept whereby you dig a large area with a shovel, and when you are finished you do it again. Garden Catalog: A well-illustrated work of fiction. Grass: A plant found in flower gardens that needs little or no care. Hoe: A garden tool calibrated so precisely that when stepped upon its handle rises swiftly up to mouth level, causing the gardener to say "Hoeeee!" Hoeing: A…
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