I woke up this morning with grand plans…and rolling out of bed I hit the floor running. Grabbing my coffee, I held it in one hand while busily putting away dishes with the other as I wanted a clean counter top to make Whoopie Pies which I planned to bring to my brother later in the morning.
The dogs were circling my legs as they always do when they sense it’s going to be a baking morning…hoping for any little tidbit to fall from the table so they could scoop it up hungrily like a bunch of little beggers. The conversation sounded like a parody of chaos…
’Lucy! Get out from under my feet!
Tara-belle don’t you dare jump up on that counter!
Sadie! For the love of God! You trip me one more time girl and I won’t be responsible for what I do!
Amidst all of this chaos as I am shoving the first cookie tray into the oven, I hear a crash…and turn to find five cases of canned broth, canned vegetable, canned soup and beans scattered across the kitchen floor… smashed….glass shattered and foods and soups leaking everywhere….and my three dogs diving to scoop up anything and everything from green beans to beef stew thinking this is their lucky day….
Now, I am a very patient person….but this fiasco tipped the scales from patience to turning me into a complete and utter madwoman….
Dropping my cookie tray I screeched.
‘No! Tara-belle you move your ass…Sadie…Lucy….get the HELL out of my kitchen!!!!
Dogs scattered and my soggy slippers are slipping and sliding through the goo to chase them away from the glass…from the puddled stew which is now running across the living-room carpet….and my first batch of cookies is burning in the oven.
Taking a deep breath, my blue eyore bathrobe dragging through the soup as I am on my hands and knees mopping up the mess, ….I am mourning all the work done that is now scattered across the floor…days of prepping vegetables, hours of simmering stews and soups, days of standing over a hot stove canning for winter storage…..all of it in a puddly mess that I am scooping up with a towel while watching my darling little girls trying to sneak back into the kitchen to circle me like a bunch of ravenous wolves…….turning I hiss:
I just dare you! As I glare at them….”I will make each of you into stew and can your asses!!!!’ I yell as I hold up an empty canning jar……’See, I have the extra jars now to do it!!!!’
It is sad to say that this all happened before 6 a.m……
Mmmmmmm…I can’t help but wonder what the rest of my day is going to be like.